Felonious Munk's Guerilla Comedy
That’s What YOU Think!

Have you ever heard “he/she thinks he/she is special” or some variation of that phrase? Have you noticed the subject of that statement NEVER does or says anything to garner any attention?

Where does that come from? “you think you’re all that!” no I don’t…YOU think I’m all that. I did nothing more than walk in the room. “oh because you got a new job you special?” apparently YOU think so.

Do you hear yourself? Jealousy is your favorite color. Wear it with pride. People who achieve are generally focused on achieving. Are some of them self-absorbed jerkoffs? Of course. But when you view your former peers as “acting brand new” because they are moving on to bigger and better things…ask yourself, have they changed…or are you just a bitter bitch (regardless of gender)?

This goes to my second point…do people change when they acquire wealth? Yes! They have to. If you were making 30k and now you’re making 100k do you live in the same neighborhood? Shop in the same stores? Vacation in the same places? Maybe, but most people see money as giving them the freedom to try new things. Grow. Live. It doesn’t mean they think they are better…but yes, they are different.

You a little emotional? Good. Get off your ass and DO something about it. Instead of being the jealous asshole…become the subject. Then YOU can be “special”…at least that’s what YOU think…#stopitb

Oh so Nova Wants to pop sh$t?!

Before you read this artice, read this: http://novagiovanni.tumblr.com/post/4421983624/dear-barack-obama-fuck-you-by-nova-giovanni

Dear Nova,

Hello Son,

First of all, interesting that you would compare my behavior to that of your father…we have much in common. In the beginning we both thought we had met the perfect woman. Your father met your mother…and I met the American people. I don’t know what happened with YOUR parents…but let me tell you about THIS bitch America.

Yes I made promises. I promised to bring the troops home. I promised health care. I promised to close Guantanamo Bay. Welp….we’re out of Iraq. Yes we’re still in Afghanistan…but so is Bin Laden smartass. You want me to ignore that guy huh? Or did you just conveniently forget about him? Health Care? Fuck You, Nova Giovanni. Fuck you for not voting in the congressional elections, leaving me a Republican dominated congress hell bent on destroying everything I do. I’m fighting a war with no support and you’re popping shit. We’re lightskinned…thought we were supposed to stick together. By the way, Guantanamo bay? Yeah I tried closing that…congress blocked me. Vote next time asshole.

Gas is high? Really? Gas was $4.50 when Bush was in office…now the entire middle east is in chaos ( guess I’m nastrodamus and should have seen it coming) and it’s my fault? Man kiss my ass Nova…kiss my ass.

Yes I’m on TV. I don’t run and hide. And yes we’re sending aid to Japan…we have a base there too wise guy. You DID know China is considered a world power right? Guess I should say forget about national security huh?

The American people SAID they wanted change…but what have YOU changed except your expectations. Get involved. Vote. Start a business. But stop whining like a little bitch. Help a brother out…by the way, Michelle said fuck you.

Hope this response finds you in the best of health, and good luck in your future endeavors.

Sincerely yours,

President Barack Obama

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The Thirst is Real…(unfunny version)

Times Have changed. Reality is now relative and subject to change at a moments notice. When a man/woman can no longer be him/herself….

Forced falsehood. A horrible concept that IS the new reality. In order for you to survive you have to lie…or do you? The thirsty people have completely changed the way people think. Women are not honest with themselves and feed off attention. Dudes believe that women only care about money so they will do whatever to get it…or pretend to get it. What happened to being yourself? If you are a man working a 9 to 5…why are you pretending to be a baller? Because of the thirst. If you are a woman, and you look in the mirror and KNOW you can be better…why don’t you? Because of the thirst.

The thirst gives women a pass. Their appearance/hygiene/intellect…all irrelevant if her assets are in order. And men? “stunting is a habit” and “it ain’t tricking if you got it” are the mantras of the day. Except…you DON’T “got it”. We’re doing each other a disservice with the lowering of standards based on sex/money. You will call ANY woman gorgeous for a shot-o-twat. And ladies you will accept any treatment (including physical abuse, cheating, etc) as long as you’re getting that new bag and those red bottoms.

I call bullshit. We are a nation of people distrustful of the opposite sex. And that distrust stems from the inherent knowledge that men/women will lie to get what they want. Don’t believe me? Watch a guy try to get a woman’s number and get rejected. His response is often “bitch you ain’t all that”. If she “ain’t all that” why did you pursue her in the first place? Same goes for women…when the dude you are interested in mistreats you, you go straight to “yo broke ass”. Really? Was he broke when you met him?

Learn to be yourself (damn shame you need to LEARN that) and maybe then we can get away from all of this “men/women ain’t shit” talk. Or just keep being thirsty and wasting the world’s time…#stopitb

Love it or Leave it alone….

Do you even realize how miserable you sound? Complaining about your life…downing everyone else’s success because you don’t have the balls to do something different.

You always WANTED to do such and such but “life” got in the way. Go to the gym, take dance/piano lessons, draw/paint, whatever…. Life got in the way. Ponder that for a moment…you’re not living the life you want because the life you hate got in the way? Word. Victim. Women have told me “you make time for what you want”. Is that true? If it is…are you saying you don’t WANT better? Or are you saying you’re not capable? Either way it’s YOU not LIFE that’s in the way.

What’s worse is, because your dreams are deferred you have no faith in mine. Luckily your opinions don’t shape my perception. I’m good. Doing what I love (and occasionally getting paid for it). Your “reality” belongs to you and ONLY you. I own my thoughts, and I can’t afford to rent out space for your basura.

If you don’t love what you’re doing, leave it alone…or die without having lived….Stop it B

Do You Hear Yourself?!

Have you ever listened to someone (or read their blog/status/tweets) and thought to yourself “WTF is he/she talking about?” if you have this post will amuse the aggravation out of you. If you haven’t, this blog is about YOUR simple ass.

What is it about the sound of your own voice that intrigues you? I mean, you obviously are talking to hear yourself talk….or else you would stfu. You have an opinion about every effin thing. You are the master of the conspiracy theory. Religion? You wrote the bible Torah AND Qur’an, all while penning a book on parenting/relationships/what men/women need to do etc. Newsflash…you’re an idiot! Your opinions, passionate though they may be, are stupid. You’re stupid. No, really. You’re a moron. All men are dogs? Stop it B. Women are all deceitful, scheming whores? Really dude…really? Barack Obama is in the illuminati? Sitchosimplebuttallthewaydownandremainseated!

Evidence is no longer a prerequisite for information to be deemed fact. Jokers just say anything and the viewing/listening public devours the bs. With the advent of the Internet, jerkoffs all over the world have a platform to spew nonsense. I guess as long as there’s a bigger idiot in the world, you have an audience. Stfu…and Stop it B.

Speak English..PLEASE!!!

Did you read the title? Good…now get to it! No, I’m not speaking to the millions of first generation Americans who make their way to the shores of this country yearly. Unfortunately, I’m talking directly to those among us too lazy to enunciate….pronounce….just plain SPEAK!

Yes, in an informal setting liberties may be taken. But when you sound the same in an interview, as you do with your “mans n nem”…well, we have a problem. Communicating effectively is the key to progress.

Stop making excuses for slurred speech and ridiculous regional slang. If I move from NY to LA I shouldn’t have to take a language arts course. You have pride in where you live. Cool. But, how can you share your culture when nobody knows what the hell you’re saying?

I don’t expect scholarly discourse on the current socio-economic state of urban America…but can your subjects and verbs agree? Your sentences are arguing! Kids listen to music more than they listen to teachers. Do you want Waka Flocka preparing your child for a standardized English test? Do you?

Hey…you’re in America…speak the language! Stop it B…

I’m Allergic to Dumb Stuff

Perhaps you’ve seen one (or all) of my “Stop it B” videos. Maybe you’ve thought to yourself “wow, dude is angry”. Or you’ve thought to yourself “it’s not that big of a deal”.

Let me clarify, yes I’m angry…and hell yes it IS that big of a deal! It’s not just about no homo, sink models, or pretty boys. It’s waaaaaaay bigger. It’s about people. It’s about the children. It’s about life. Pop culture used to be a reflection of life. Now life imitates the worst of pop culture.

You know my feelings about about the current state of hip hop music. If not, allow me to give you a brief overview: the people accept garba…no the people EMBRACE garbage! It’s not the artists’ fault. The lowest common denominator is not something to aspire to become. But many are PROUD to be a part of the “music that says NOTHING” movement. I’m ecstatic to see the spread of hip hop internationally. But, I abhor knowing that little kids in China see Soulja Boi as somehow representative of hip hop and by extension, America.

The ignorance we allow to be called art (it’s not just music, black TV/movies suck sphincter too) is embarrassing. We have to demand better. The talent exists. Yes it’s about the money…bullshit sells. But who is buying it? Stop blaming viacom. It’s not Soulja boi’s fault. WE are buying it. We are tuning in. We are buying movie tickets and DVD’s. Spend YOUR money on quality…or just keep being “cool”….and ignorant. Stop it B