Felonious Munk's Guerilla Comedy

It takes a village…

Oh so Nova Wants to pop sh$t?!

Before you read this artice, read this: http://novagiovanni.tumblr.com/post/4421983624/dear-barack-obama-fuck-you-by-nova-giovanni

Dear Nova,

Hello Son,

First of all, interesting that you would compare my behavior to that of your father…we have much in common. In the beginning we both thought we had met the perfect woman. Your father met your mother…and I met the American people. I don’t know what happened with YOUR parents…but let me tell you about THIS bitch America.

Yes I made promises. I promised to bring the troops home. I promised health care. I promised to close Guantanamo Bay. Welp….we’re out of Iraq. Yes we’re still in Afghanistan…but so is Bin Laden smartass. You want me to ignore that guy huh? Or did you just conveniently forget about him? Health Care? Fuck You, Nova Giovanni. Fuck you for not voting in the congressional elections, leaving me a Republican dominated congress hell bent on destroying everything I do. I’m fighting a war with no support and you’re popping shit. We’re lightskinned…thought we were supposed to stick together. By the way, Guantanamo bay? Yeah I tried closing that…congress blocked me. Vote next time asshole.

Gas is high? Really? Gas was $4.50 when Bush was in office…now the entire middle east is in chaos ( guess I’m nastrodamus and should have seen it coming) and it’s my fault? Man kiss my ass Nova…kiss my ass.

Yes I’m on TV. I don’t run and hide. And yes we’re sending aid to Japan…we have a base there too wise guy. You DID know China is considered a world power right? Guess I should say forget about national security huh?

The American people SAID they wanted change…but what have YOU changed except your expectations. Get involved. Vote. Start a business. But stop whining like a little bitch. Help a brother out…by the way, Michelle said fuck you.

Hope this response finds you in the best of health, and good luck in your future endeavors.

Sincerely yours,

President Barack Obama

Http://www.twitter.com/felonious_Munk Http://YouTube.com/fmunkmoc Http://www.Facebook.com/feloniousmunkfans

Love it or Leave it alone….

Do you even realize how miserable you sound? Complaining about your life…downing everyone else’s success because you don’t have the balls to do something different.

You always WANTED to do such and such but “life” got in the way. Go to the gym, take dance/piano lessons, draw/paint, whatever…. Life got in the way. Ponder that for a moment…you’re not living the life you want because the life you hate got in the way? Word. Victim. Women have told me “you make time for what you want”. Is that true? If it is…are you saying you don’t WANT better? Or are you saying you’re not capable? Either way it’s YOU not LIFE that’s in the way.

What’s worse is, because your dreams are deferred you have no faith in mine. Luckily your opinions don’t shape my perception. I’m good. Doing what I love (and occasionally getting paid for it). Your “reality” belongs to you and ONLY you. I own my thoughts, and I can’t afford to rent out space for your basura.

If you don’t love what you’re doing, leave it alone…or die without having lived….Stop it B

Do You Hear Yourself?!

Have you ever listened to someone (or read their blog/status/tweets) and thought to yourself “WTF is he/she talking about?” if you have this post will amuse the aggravation out of you. If you haven’t, this blog is about YOUR simple ass.

What is it about the sound of your own voice that intrigues you? I mean, you obviously are talking to hear yourself talk….or else you would stfu. You have an opinion about every effin thing. You are the master of the conspiracy theory. Religion? You wrote the bible Torah AND Qur’an, all while penning a book on parenting/relationships/what men/women need to do etc. Newsflash…you’re an idiot! Your opinions, passionate though they may be, are stupid. You’re stupid. No, really. You’re a moron. All men are dogs? Stop it B. Women are all deceitful, scheming whores? Really dude…really? Barack Obama is in the illuminati? Sitchosimplebuttallthewaydownandremainseated!

Evidence is no longer a prerequisite for information to be deemed fact. Jokers just say anything and the viewing/listening public devours the bs. With the advent of the Internet, jerkoffs all over the world have a platform to spew nonsense. I guess as long as there’s a bigger idiot in the world, you have an audience. Stfu…and Stop it B.

Speak English..PLEASE!!!

Did you read the title? Good…now get to it! No, I’m not speaking to the millions of first generation Americans who make their way to the shores of this country yearly. Unfortunately, I’m talking directly to those among us too lazy to enunciate….pronounce….just plain SPEAK!

Yes, in an informal setting liberties may be taken. But when you sound the same in an interview, as you do with your “mans n nem”…well, we have a problem. Communicating effectively is the key to progress.

Stop making excuses for slurred speech and ridiculous regional slang. If I move from NY to LA I shouldn’t have to take a language arts course. You have pride in where you live. Cool. But, how can you share your culture when nobody knows what the hell you’re saying?

I don’t expect scholarly discourse on the current socio-economic state of urban America…but can your subjects and verbs agree? Your sentences are arguing! Kids listen to music more than they listen to teachers. Do you want Waka Flocka preparing your child for a standardized English test? Do you?

Hey…you’re in America…speak the language! Stop it B…

Oh…you’re a model? Episode 2 (via FmunkMOC)

Charlie Sheen is a Pluck!!!!

By now you’ve all heard about Charlie Sheen’s most recent “wild night out”. Cocaine, hookers, quotable ignorance galore….

For years dude has been a train wreck. He’s almost in the Mike Tyson Zone (as described by Bill Simmons of ESPN)…you know, that place where you’re not surprised by ANYTHING you hear. For example “yo I heard Mike Tyson just ate 3 live pigeons on MTV”…see? You wouldn’t even blink. Well, that’s how I feel about Sheen.

Unfortunately, dude has become some sort of folk hero for dumbasses everywhere. Rapper Joell Ortiz was even on twitter saying “Charlie Sheen is a f&$king G”….Stop it B! Charlie Sheen is an addict. I’ve seen addicts and ain’t sh!t G about fiends. Blowing money on hookers and drugs is g sh!t? Losing your wife and having your family throw interventions…g sh!t? Stop it B!!! Dude has a problem. Stop promoting drug dependency like it’s gangsta. It’s a weakness. G’s don’t lose control to coke b. Tony Montana died. Nothing G about a cokehead. Now the dude supplying him? That’s a G! FOH…

Yo…Charlie Sheen…get help B! And to all you enablers…stop it B

Rants aren’t for everyone…

I’m sure by now you’ve seen the first “Stop it B” rant. If not (shame on you btw) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHOLNPUG3mg&sns=tw <——-click there.

Many people have said “Munk, you’re so angry” after watching. ITS A RANT!!! By definition it’s bombastic. It’s aggressive. Saying I sound angry when I rant is like saying I sound tired when I’m asleep. The intro says “….today Felonious rants about…” so yeah…context clues people.

I’ve also perused some other so-called rant vids….Stop it B. Some of you aren’t even mildly upset. How do you rant calmly? That’s called talking. Even preachers have energy. Some of you are as exciting as waiting in traffic. In fact, the only animosity during your video…was me being pissed at you for making it. Stop it B…